EDITOR'S NOTE: This column is for amusement purposes only and should not be construed as serious advice.
I work several part-time jobs and have two kids with busy schedules with sports, church, Girl Scouts and so on. My husband feels he shouldn’t have to do anything extra around the house, unless he’s specifically asked, because he makes the majority of the money. Overstacked dishes, laundry piling up and the fact that I fall asleep sitting up isn’t enough of a clue for him to offer help. How can I get through to him that I need some help? Thanks! Mother Awfully Dissed
Dear Mother Awfully Dissed,
Girl, he needs to see how much you do or he simply won’t have a clue. Let those dishes stack to the ceiling! Let that laundry pile up until it reeks to high heaven! When he’s finally out shopping for clean underwear, maybe then he’ll have a clue! If not, at least you’ll have had some time off. Hugs, Addie
My father remarried and his new wife will not include our family in any holiday celebration (birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Father’s Day, Easter, etc.). What should I do? Sincerely, Left Out in the Cold
Dear Left Out in the Cold,
Mail her a “Thank You” note on EVERY holiday and be glad you don’t have to participate in yet another dysfunctional “forced fellowship” get-together. If only we could all be so lucky! I’m personally jealous. Go buy a bottle of champagne. Hugs, Addie
My husband thinks it’s funny to chew up a mouthful of Skittles and then try to kiss me, saying “Taste the rainbow!” He thinks he is a riot and does it when we are out in public, which is really embarrassing. How can I get him to stop without hurting his feelings? Sincerely, Mortified M&M Fan
Dear Mortified M&M Fan,
Ever heard of Pop Rocks? Carry them with you and toss them in your mouth when you are in this situation and as your mouth begins to pop and foam, tell him you and your doctor aren’t sure what you’ve caught. Hugs, Addie
My 13-year-old daughter wants me to allow her to go to school and out with friends dressed like Nicki Minaj in that Anaconda video. What should I do? Sincerely, Mom Who’s Not Too Fly
Dear Mom Who’s Not Too Fly,
You have a number of options to show her what a BRILLIANT IDEA this is! You can dress up like Nicki yourself and then drive her (offer to pick up her friends as well) to school to show everyone what a cool mom your daughter has. Be sure to get out of the car so everyone sees you. Better yet, you can have her DAD dress up like Nicki and drive them! Hugs, Addie
Send your questions to Addie at firstname.lastname@example.org.