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Science geeks managed to grab the headlines again last week.
They reported to the world that they have just recently observed a black hole bending light. In its bare hands, too. We all knew black holes were powerful, but I didn’t know they could do that.
Perhaps that’s not such a big deal. I have a light I can bend, but it’s one of those made for working on things in tight places where I can wrap it around the edge of a door, a table or around my head. And nobody thinks I’m that powerful.
They were able to observe these black holes bending light by using a very expensive taxpayer-funded telescope and engineering it to see X-rays instead of other heavenly bodies. Since it’s using X-rays, there are no cute pictures to show us; just a bunch of boring data in files, which they have to interpret for the public. I guess that’s why nobody is doing cartwheels over this new revelation. Nobody will be making a calendar out of that, I can assure you.
Scientists theorize that black holes are made up of matter from collapsed stars and are extremely dense — just like the people who managed to make your very important government paperwork disappear after you sent it to them. That’s how dense.
These collapsed stars are similar to all those banks, which collapsed a few years ago creating a black hole from which billions of investors’ money never escaped and (just like in a black hole) never saw the light of day again. Does anyone here besides me see a very coincidental parallel?
Other black holes of note are those nearly as powerful located in the government, which suck all of our tax money in and don’t allow it to escape.
Scientists believe that super-sized black holes are located at the center of galaxies and that is why the rest of the galaxy rotates around it. I thought it was because wherever there’s a hole, people passing by have to stop and look into it for some strange reason. Maybe the stars are just congregating around trying to get a look inside before moving on.
They just keep sucking in matter and get denser and denser until, well, who really knows what happens when they ingest too many planets and stars? Belch maybe?
All I can say is I really wouldn’t want to be too close when a black hole overeats. Something astronomically terrible is bound to happen and I’ll wager that none of it is covered by your insurance company.
And finally, I was thinking that we should probably lay low and not grab the hungry black hole’s attention. I’d hate for it to learn that there was a Milky Way out there.
Congratulations to this week’s winner Jackie Hubbard. She correctly guessed that “1 = Q. in a B.” was “1 = Queen in a Beehive.” The word “beehive” was listed in last week’s column.
Here is next week’s puzzle: “1 = H. in a D.”
As usual, at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column. If you think you know the answer, submit your answer at AdVantageNews.com, under the Contests tab, click, “Off the Top of My Head Answer” or call the AdVantage News answer line at (888) 532-4441 before noon on Tuesday.
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