Joe Crawford
The U.S. Navy has outdone themselves. They have super-duper nuclear-powered aircraft carriers and submarines, destroyers, cruises, frigates and occasionally a jet ski or a ski boat for the admiralty. And now they have gone a step further and developed a boat that looks like a fish.
Yes, a fish. This particular fish is actually an underwater robotic spy capable of blending in with the other sea creatures to get a first-hand view of the enemy. And it’s really sofishticated.
It can also be used to examine the underbelly of ships for damage, look for mines, catch poachers fishing for real fish and doubles on the weekend for the shark in the latest revision of “Jaws.”
Just how well this fake fish will work is anybody’s guess. But if you open a can of tuna in the future and you get a short circuit eating it, I’d say it worked a little too well.
The first one is still in testing, but so far the results are good despite being bothered by an annoying, persistent hammerhead shark looking for a date. The robot has repeatedly stated it is not interested, but the shark refuses to take no for an answer.
The next step might be to arm one of these robots with torpedoes or underwater lasers. And you were worried about getting bitten by sharks or stung by jellyfish.
The Japanese are reportedly interested too. Not in the technology, necessarily. They’re nervous the fish is really being developed to catch them cheating on their fishing quotas. If they happen to catch one by mistake, they hope one of their lawyers will be able to get them off the hook.
The Navy was hoping to develop several of these only in a smaller version, but they determined it would be too expensive. After all, everybody knows how expensive a goldfish would cost. You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to see that.
I’m skeptical, though. It sounds like another fish story to me.
Congratulations to this week’s winner, Barbara Romain. She correctly guessed that “2 = A. on the H. B.” was “2 = Arms on the Human Body.” The words “arms” and “body” were listed in last week’s column.
Here is next week’s puzzle: “1 = E. on the A.” As usual, at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column. If you think you know the answer, submit your answer at AdVantageNews.com, under the Contests tab, click “Off the Top of My Head Answer” or call the AdVantage News answer line at (888) 532-4441 before noon on Tuesday.
Winners may choose a free lube and oil change from Drake Tire, a $26 value, or a $20 gift certificate to Tony’s Restaurant in downtown Alton, Gentelin’s or Jimmy the Greek’s on Broadway in Alton.
Winners will be notified by telephone on Tuesday and must pick up their prize at AdVantage News before 4 p.m.
Also don’t forget that I am available for public speaking engagements!
Any comments and suggestions, helpful or unhelpful, may be sent to joecrawford@advantagenews.com.