The Happiest Place on Earth just got a little less happy last week when it was discovered that patrons visiting Disneyland were infected with a bad case of the measles. Kind of seems a little Goofy, huh?
Well, it’s true. Evidently some unfortunate person carrying the virus decided they just couldn’t stay away from one of the most likely places to spread a contagious disease outside of maybe a densely packed subway or bomb shelter. And it seems that they weren’t vaccinated beforehand, either. People think that with modern medicine we have eradicated all these ancient illness, but all I can say is they believe that, they must be living in Fantasyland.
Many of those who came down with the disease most certainly did not contract it at the park, but from someone who had been there and then given it to them when they got home. They know this because there was no way most who developed measles could have afforded the high admission price, parking and the cost of eating and souvenirs at the park. That effectively eliminates about 50 percent of the U.S. population.
So the only way you can be assured of being immune from getting is measles is to have been vaccinated properly, have had the measles before and developed immunity to it or be dead. However, if you’re fairly certain you had measles in a previous life, that doesn’t count.
Always optimistic in the Happiest Place on Earth, the corporate heads at Disney have come to the conclusion that if even more infectious diseases are traced to Disneyland, they might as well roll with it. That could start leading to renaming of old rides like “It’s a Smallpox World” or “Viruses of the Caribbean.” Even the “Mono-rail” could start taking on new meaning, if you get what I mean.
Maybe Disneyland could become a place where you could immunize your children for free just by showing up and going on as many rides as possible as long as they promise to touch lots of handrails and breathe on people. And kids would enjoy it much more than going to the doctor and getting jabbed in the arm with a needle. Speaking of that, I once knew a kid who talked so much he must have been vaccinated with a record needle.
Some people say there’s no such thing as bad publicity and in the case of the Disneyland measles, that’s probably true. But the corporate heads are following developments and monitoring the situation. It’s even gotten the attention of Mickey Mouse, who says he is all ears.
Congratulations to this week’s winner, Queen Slater. She correctly guessed that “7 = N. of A. in the C.” was “7 = Number of Articles in the Constitution.” The word “constitution” was listed in last week’s column.
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