It’s January and that means it’s looking pretty glum out there.
That’s why people find it necessary to inject a little sunlight into their lives. They do this by flying to a tropical resort, getting drunk for the entire month or going to one of the indoor conventions like the annual auto shows, which are now in full gear. Pun intended.
This year’s shows will feature many of the self-driving cars we have been hearing about. You know; the ones where you hop in like a taxi and they take you to wherever you want to go without pretending not to speak English or conveniently taking the extra long way to jack up the fare.
This is the future many people envision for cars. They will be more like a service than something to be admired and fawned over. You will tell the car where you want to go (probably from the rear, like any decent backseat driver would) and the car will whisk you away to your destination while you eat tacos, put on makeup, chat on the phone, text or rubberneck just as you do now when you’re driving.
These cars can even double-park themselves and argue with cops about illegal use of lane tickets and oozing through stop signs because they have the world’s largest database of excuses and even some bribery money for good measure.
I don’t know what everyone is afraid of with this new technology. People drive now like there doesn’t seem to be anybody at the wheel anyway. Today’s drivers think lane markings are only a suggestion of where to drive, don’t seem to know cars are equipped with something called a turn signal and think the horn is a musical instrument they must constantly practice during rush hour.
Some day soon there might not even be a need for a driver’s license and consequently a driver’s test to pass, which would save us even more money since that would essentially eliminate all the Department of Motor Vehicle offices and their long lines, not to mention all the time we have all frittered away standing in them to get a renewal sticker!
Think of a world with no more DUIs, speed traps, hit and runs and uneasy children having to ask their aged parents to give up the keys.
I hope I didn’t drive you all crazy with this kind of futuristic car talk. This technology is years away, as anyone auto know.
Congratulations to this week’s winner, Marie Reyne. She correctly guessed that “10 = N. of F. in a G. of B.” was “10 = Number of Frames in a Game of Bowling.” The words “number” and “game” were listed in last week’s column.
Here is next week’s puzzle: “88 = P. K.” As usual, at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column. If you think you know the answer, submit your answer at AdVantageNews.com, under the Contests tab, click “Off the Top of My Head Answer” or call the AdVantage News answer line at (888) 532-4441 before noon on Tuesday.
Winners may choose a free lube and oil change from Drake Tire, a $26 value, or a $20 gift certificate to Tony’s Restaurant in downtown Alton, Gentelin’s or Jimmy the Greek’s on Broadway in Alton.
Winners will be notified by telephone on Tuesday and must pick up their prize at AdVantage News before 4 p.m.
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