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This week's winner: Ron Winkler
Here’s an odd one for you. Last week someone actually defenestrated herself on a train. A moving one, at that.
It’s not what you think. She didn’t expose herself, cut herself open or anything like that. Defenestration is a seldom-used word, which means the act of throwing someone out of a window.
Yes, strange but true. Last week a little old elderly woman apparently jumped out the window of a moving Amtrak train south of St. Louis. She lived, but so far has decided not to tell us about it.
Just why she decided to do this isn’t clear, but if you’ve ever ridden Amtrak and experienced their poor service, filthy restrooms and bad food you might understand what made her do this.
And she was no spring chicken. This person was apparently in her 70s or 80s and despite all this managed to walk away with only a possibly broken hip and leg. Well, I guess “walk” isn’t the best word to choose here, but you get what I mean.
When the alert train conductor was making his rounds that night, he noticed the suspect footstool and the open emergency exit window and immediately began a head count to see if anyone had sneaked onboard.
To his great astonishment there was actually one person missing instead and frantically went in search of her. In her room, except for a DVD of the movie “Throw Momma from the Train,” they found nothing unusual.
The next day some kids returning from a fishing expedition noticed the woman sitting beside the tracks seemingly disoriented and complaining about the train being late again. They noticed her legs were hurt and notified authorities, who transported her to the hospital (in a car), treated her leg injuries and decided to have her head examined for good measure.
After being released she took the bus to her final destination and actually arrived ahead of the train, which is par for the course.
As to her motive for springing out the window of the choo-choo that night, I can only guess she must have lost her train of thought while on a midnight walk. Or maybe I’m going down the wrong track.
Congratulations to this week’s winner, Ron Winkler. He correctly guessed that “3 = L. on a S.” was “3 = Leaves on a Shamrock.” The word “leaves” was listed in last week’s column.
Here is next week’s puzzle: “8 = L. on an O.” As usual, at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column. If you think you know the answer, call the AdVantage News answer line at (888) 532-4441 before noon on Tuesday.
Winners may choose a free lube and oil change from Drake Tire, a $26 value or a $20 gift certificate to Tony’s Restaurant in downtown Alton, Gentelin’s or Jimmy the Greek’s on Broadway in Alton.
Winners will be notified by telephone on Tuesday and must pick up their prize at AdVantage News before 4 p.m.
Also don’t forget that I am available for public speaking engagements!
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