St. Patrick’s Day is coming. Hold on to your shillelaghs!
Yes, it’s the annual holiday (sort of) where everyone is Irish and everyone’s favorite color is green. And most people get drunk. Kind of makes you envious of the Irish.
Well, the Irish aren’t really so lucky after all. Sure, they’ve got St. Patrick, but we’ve got supermodel Kathy Ireland. Who do you think got the short end of the stick on that one?
St. Patrick is reported to have driven all the snakes out of Ireland, which makes him either a hero or a goat depending on which side of the reptile fence you are on. I know the folks over at PETA don’t think very much of him. They slander him to this day, claiming he was probably suffering from some sort of reptile dysfunction.
But he wasn’t even Irish. According to legend, he was born over in England. There he was minding his own business, tending sheep and thinking what a lucky guy he was when a bunch of drunken Irish pirates (probably on their way to Italy to discover the Old World and get some takeout pizza) accidentally landed in England instead and kidnapped him and brought him back to Ireland.
It’s hard to imagine Irish pirates staying sober long enough to pull up the anchor, let alone kidnap anyone. They probably thought they had one of the sheep instead of St. Patrick.
And, as the legend goes, he got even with those pirates by converting everyone to Christianity. That pretty much killed off the heathen business, but at least they got St. Patrick’s Day out of it.
However, the drinking continued and that spawned things like leprechauns, Lucky Charms cereal and, of course, Guinness beer. Most of us have had Lucky Charms at some time or another, but not with Guinness beer in it.
Well, centuries went by, the world changed and St. Patrick’s Day became a tradition the world over. Ireland scrapped the pound and adopted the euro and their economy took off only to flop a few years later. Ireland has been begging like Greece for more money from the European Union to stay afloat, but the Europeans are skeptical the repayment of any loan will ever see the light of day.
You could say it’s similar to why you should never borrow money from a leprechaun. They’re always a little short.
Congratulations to this week’s winner, Nicole Matis. She correctly guessed that “E. M. = H. O. W. E.” was “Every Man is His Own Worst Enemy.” The word “own” was listed in last week’s column.
Here is next week’s puzzle: “10 C. = 1 M.” As usual, at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column. If you think you know the answer, submit your answer at AdVantageNews.com, under the Contests tab, click “Off the Top of My Head Answer” or call the AdVantage News answer line at (888) 532-4441 before noon on Tuesday.
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