Don’t look now, but the real estate market has turned around. People all over are now confident they can sell even the most worthless of properties and are now putting them on the market. Take the iconic Playboy Mansion in California. Please!
Yes, that storied, hedonistic monstrosity in California is finally going on the market. It comes with a pool, wine cellar and 20,000 square feet of living space — including 29 rooms, a tennis court, a home theater and a game house. Oh, and a dinosaur of a roommate by the name of Hugh Hefner.
That’s correct. If you want the mansion, you have to take Hef with it. Yes, he wants to stay put and you’ll have to deal with him until he kicks the bucket. He’s a spry 89 years young and there’s no telling when he’s going. Judging by the company he keeps, I’d say not any time soon.
I guess he isn’t much for nursing homes and wants to stay. It could be worse, you know. What if Bill Cosby owned the place?
Reportedly much of the house is in such a dilapidated state (like his magazine business), it will have to be completely gutted or torn down altogether. The place is in such a mess and in need of improvements, even the Grand Canyon is more modern.
The mansion even comes with a zoo license. I’m not sure if that was for the exotic animals he kept there or all the wild parties he had. Just wondering.
The new owner will have lots of acreage, landscaping and buildings to maintain, not to mention Hef himself. I wonder at his age if he’s still wearing boxers or diapers. When asked about it, his spokesman reportedly replied, “Depends.”
How much are they asking for it? Why a mere $200 million, that’s all. See? I told you he was senile already. Or maybe the exorbitant asking price is just a ploy to see if the buyer is paying attention, possibly blind, deaf and dumb or just simply a way to negotiate more money if you convince Hugh to scram. Who’d want him around anyway? If I wanted to see something so old and wrinkly, I’d go see a mummy exhibit at a museum.
I’m sure somebody with a very fat wallet who can afford the Hef-ty price will eventually spring for the place and make Hugh and all the people he owes money to very happy. The buyer will be instantly sought after by every news media outlet in the country, the local county real estate tax division and the Neurological Institute of Cleveland, who will want to examine his head. So just who will be dumb enough to take on this gruesome task? Like the iconic symbol of their Playboy magazine, I guess some bunny will.
Congratulations to this month’s winner, Larry Crawford of Godfrey. He correctly guessed that “B = the S. L. of the A.” was “B = the Second Letter of the Alphabet.” The word “second” was listed in last month’s column.
Here is next month’s puzzle: “W = the C. of the C. B. in P.” As usual, at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column. If you think you know the answer, call the AdVantage News Answer Line at (888) 532-4441 or visit advnews.link/1TyHcSs before noon Tuesday.
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