Oops! It happened again!
It seems another airplane made a landing at a wrong airport once more. There were no injuries this time except for some bruised egos in the cockpit.
A Southwest Airlines jet was making its merry way from Chicago to southwest Missouri to drop off some passengers to party in Branson for the weekend. If you’ve ever been to Branson, you know that the word “party” is somewhat of an exaggeration.
As they were making their final approach, the pilots decided it was too much trouble to pay attention to the very expensive high-tech navigation equipment on board and instead decided to angle for the nearest strip of concrete they could find. From that altitude one looks just as good as another. After all, this is southwestern Missouri. How many airports could there be close by?
It turns out, at least one. And that was enough to make them the feature story on every cable channel devoted to “news” and land them on the front pages of every newspaper still in existence. Too bad it couldn’t have landed them at the right airport.
As soon as the pilot announced “Welcome to Branson!”, he followed it up with the pithy “Well, almost.” This left the passengers and crewmembers in a very confused state. To divert their attention away from the mix up, he started doling out free peanuts and asking the passengers to meditate on and think about the power of forgiveness.
The pilots then announced that there would be a slight delay as they hurriedly arranged for airplane staircases to be brought over from the other airport and pondered their future careers. The pilots were both veterans and really should have known better. I guess I don’t have to remind them of that. Southwest Airlines will make sure they never forget it.
The airports were only 7 miles apart. It’s not as bad as flying to Oakland and arriving at, say, Auckland (New Zealand) instead. And it could have been worse. The airplane had to brake severely screeching the wheels and burning lots of rubber to avoid careening down a steep embankment at the end of the runway. Luckily the mechanics were a little more attentive than the pilots and performed the necessary routine maintenance beforehand thereby averting disaster.
They have been placed on administrative leave pending the outcome of the investigation. This means they are still being paid, but aren’t allowed to fly anymore until they can figure out how to fire them.
If there’s any way to characterize their mistake, I guess you would say it was just “plane” dumb.
Congratulations to this week’s winner Joe Kuhnline. He correctly guessed that “128 = O. in a G.” was “128 = Ounces in a Gallon” The word “ounces” was listed in last week’s column.
Here is next week’s puzzle: “2 = W. on a B.” As usual at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column.
As usual at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column. If you think you know the answer, call the Today’s AdVantage Answer Line: 888-532-4441 before 12 pm (noon) this Friday.
Winners may choose a free lube and oil change from Drake Tire which is a $26 value or a $20 gift certificate to Tony’s Restaurant, in downtown Alton, Gentelin’s or Jimmy the Greek’s on Broadway in Alton.
Winners will be notified by telephone on Friday and must pick up their prize at Today’s AdVantage before 4 pm. Also don’t forget that I am available for public speaking engagements! Any comments and suggestions, helpful or unhelpful, may be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.