Terry Dossett
1. “Hello, this is Rachel from card services. There is no problem with your credit card, but ...”
2. “Hello. We have been monitoring your credit card account (who gave them permission to ‘monitor’ my account?). There is no problem with your credit, but ...”
3. “Hello. This is the rewards center for your credit card. Because you have excellent credit, you are to receive a three-night, four-day Caribbean cruise for two. Press 1 to find out what you’ve won!”
4. A seductive window appears on your computer screen, showing a young wahine in revealing apparel running exuberantly on a beautiful tropical beach, her white teeth sparkling. Surrounding this evocative scene are smaller photos of prizes that could be yours. You can almost feel that white sand between your toes! All you have to do is take a short survey, and you can pick out two of the prizes, at absolutely no charge.
My friend Jerry Jones (no relation to the owner of the Dallas Cowboys) seems to be getting those robocalls constantly — even five or six per day. Of course, Jerry, like anyone else, is always looking for something for nothing. “Free this” and “free that,” simply by asking a few simple survey questions.
So Jerry, licking his chops at the prospect, decided to answer the survey. All he had to do was pay a very nominal charge for shipping and handling, and a beautiful watch and designer sunglasses are on the way to his wrist and his eyeballs. Of course, he needed to give the very gracious and generous representative his credit card number for S and H. He gladly poured out his soul and his numbers for the young lady on the other end of the line.
True to form, his prizes arrived within five business days. He opened the first package and immediately put his new gold watch upon his waiting wrist. He opened the second and took out his designer sunglasses, which were worthy of Rodeo Drive in Hollywood. Information in the package indicated each item had an intrinsic value of $100 per item.
Wow! All this for just answering a few simple questions.
Jerry showed off his prizes to all his friends, some of whom reminded him that “if it’s too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true.”
Two weeks later, when the statement from his credit card company arrived, Jerry’s wife was a bit curious as to why there was a charge of $200 attributed to Acme Industries, or something like that. Jerry was dumbfounded. How could it be? The young lady told him the prizes were free!
And she was right. FREE for a two-week trial period. Then Jerry’s credit card will be charged $200 every month for random items which would be sent to him. Now Jerry was in The Prestigious Designer Item Club whether he wanted it or not.
It took Jerry some ranting, raving and threatening to get it all straightened out. Although he wouldn’t admit it, the paperwork which came with his prizes explained it all. The so-called fine print. Oddly enough, by suggesting the attorney general of Illinois would like to know about the tactics of Acme Industries, the young lady told him to keep the two prizes and his account would be cleared of charges.
So. What to do when you get those irritating robocalls? Hang up! Even if a voice says, “Is this so-and-so, and you answer “yes,” just by using that word “yes,” it could cost you money. Devious, no?
Or if Rachel wants you to select number 1, and you feel like playing with their heads, hit number 1 and when someone answers ask them to send you information immediately. You don’t want this to delay your bankruptcy. Then you won’t have to hang up; they will do it for you.
The Yiddish word for “thief” is “goniff.” And it seems there are plenty of goniffs out there playing on your gullibility.
It is truly a shame when you can’t trust the guy on the other end of the phone.