Joe Crawford
Just where the heck is that airplane anyway?
Here we are almost two months removed from when the news first broke about the Malaysian jet’s disappearance and still nothing. The only thing we do know is that up until now is they’ve been looking in the wrong place the entire time. At least that’s something to hang your hat on.
Even the US Navy has gotten involved. They have deployed their super high-tech Bluefin robotic sub (which is actually yellow) in hopes of sighting the elusive black boxes (which are actually orange) somewhere in the dark, murky depths of the Indian Ocean (which doesn’t actually belong to India).
And the debris field they were certain they’d find eventually? That still hasn’t turned up either. So as I see it either a fish ate the plane, it somehow landed in one piece and then sank like a rock to the bottom of the ocean or someone is playing a very sick joke on us. If that last supposition turns out to be true, time to end the charade. It’s not very funny anymore.
Ironically we have more detailed information about the surface of the moon and the planet Mars than we do the ocean floor. It’s really an unexplored region of which we know little about. And it’s on our own planet. How embarrassing.
Our super-duper high-tech nuclear powered submarines can’t even get anywhere near the bottom of the ocean either. You have to use a specially designed robotic submarine with unusually bright lights to see anything at that depth. If there were someplace you would want to hide something so that no one would ever find it, that would be it. It’s so dark down there I would wager that the fish are pretty ugly too.
And quite inexplicably the Prime Minister of Malaysia just recently stated that he is not ready to declare the plane and the passengers lost. I guess nobody can call him a quitter, can they? I believe he is suffering from an unusual sense of euphoric optimism. If he were living in the United States he would probably be a Cub fan. There are still some kooks who aren’t ready to declare Jimmy Hoffa lost either so I guess maybe he’s not that crazy after all.
Officials swear they are not giving up the search and will keep at it until they find the plane and its black boxes, die of old age or get dementia and forget why they were out there looking in the first place.
I just have a feeling that this search will be a lot like one of those intercontinental flights. It’s going to be a long haul.
Congratulations to this week’s winner Beverly Culovic. She correctly guessed that “A. W. + 46 D. = E. S.” was “Ash Wednesday + 46 Days = Easter Sunday” The word “days” was listed in last week’s column.
Here is next week’s puzzle: “U. = the S. P. from the S.” As usual at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column. If you think you know the answer, call the Today’s AdVantage Answer Line: 1-888-532-4441 before 12 pm (noon) this Friday.
Winners may choose a free lube and oil change from Drake Tire which is a $26 value or a $20 gift certificate to Tony’s Restaurant, in downtown Alton, Gentelin’s or Jimmy the Greek’s on Broadway in Alton.
Winners will be notified by telephone on Tuesday and must pick up their prize at AdVantage News before Wednesday at Noon. Also don’t forget that I am available for public speaking engagements! Any comments and suggestions, helpful or unhelpful, may be sent to joecrawford@advantagenews.com.