Congratulation's to last week's trivia winner, Pat Jacoby of Wood River!
This week's puzzle: B. R. = F. P. (in a C.)
Click here to answer the trivia question; you can win a free lube and oil change from Drake Tire, a $26 value; or a $20 gift certificate to Tony's Restaurant in downtown Alton, Gentelin's or Jimmy the Greek's on Broadway in Alton.
Joe Crawford
So it’s been a long time since I’ve written about someone doing something stupid. So here goes.
Evidently, some guy with a lot of pent-up anger, and apparently no brains, decided to vent his frustration on a bunch of man-eating alligators, of all things. Now what made him think a bunch of lizards descended from prehistoric dinosaurs would give a care is beyond me.
Witnesses reported seeing the lunatic yelling and screaming at the alligators, attempting to mock them. I’m not sure what made him think a lizard could be mocked and made fun of in the first place, but he did.
The man, reportedly bent on his own self-destruction, ignored verbal warnings and a sign clearly posted (but not so clearly phrased) stating “No Swimming Alligators”. Witnesses speculated the man misunderstood the poorly worded sign and thought it meant that the alligators in that particular bayou were the non-swimming kind.
That might account for his making sport of the gators before diving in. I wonder at what point he realized he had misread the sign. It could have been about the same time the alligator had him firmly clamped in his jaws and was dragging him down to the bottom of the bayou.
The man also allegedly threw down his very expensive alligator skin wallet before jumping in. Marine biologists speculated it may have belonged to the alligator and that was the reason for the attack in the first place. The alligator may have just been trying to hold the man, before police could arrive on the scene. It is all, however, purely speculation at this point.
Additionally, the group the man had been partying with was playing very loud Elton John music and had been repeatedly playing “Crocodile Rock,” which further infuriated the alligators. Being lizards, alligators have very thin skins. They have an especially thin one when it comes to being mistaken for crocodiles. Similar to the insults Canadians feel when being mistaken for Americans. Only Canadians don’t eat you for it.
Soon we will see a host of people descending on the scene, hoping to reap some benefits. They are trying to argue that it was the alligator’s fault, so we’ll probably see our share of liti-gators and investi-gators. What a croc that is.
Here is next week’s puzzle: “B.R. = F.P. (in a C.)” As usual, at least one of the words is included somewhere in the column.
Don’t forget that I am available for public speaking engagements! Any comments and suggestions, helpful or unhelpful, may be sent to joecrawford@todaysadvantage.com.