Joe Crawford
More good news from California.
At long last, the state’s Department of Motor Vehicles has decided to allow self-driving cars to get a driver’s license. This would only happen in California. As of this writing, they’re still debating whether to extend this privilege to self-cleaning ovens.
If these self-driving cars are successful enough, it will virtually put an end to tailgating, drivers cutting off other motorists, bad parking and going slowly in the fast lane. This, of course, means people will have to find some other way to vent their frustration. So far ideas range from establishing fight clubs at work during coffee breaks, extreme gardening or volunteering on weekends with local SWAT teams kicking in doors during drug raids.
Conservatives are very skeptical of the new practice. They claim the DMV is only using this as a secret ploy to allow self-driving cars to register to vote as Democrats through the motor voter law and tip the scales even more in a very one-sided political state.
To qualify, each vehicle would have to take a self-driving test. Each car would have 30 minutes to complete the exam, which would include multiple-choice answers embedded inside true-false inside of essay questions. Sound complicated? Well, what do you think a test for a computer should look like? Cars would also have to give their true number of miles, date of birth and weight and not lie like people.
Some people are naturally suspicious that self-driving cars will become a reality. They point out the fact that a person will still have to be behind the wheel ready to take over in case something goes wrong. That kind of defeats the whole purpose, doesn’t it?
Many think that will only increase the worry factor since the human will be akin to a driver instructor terrified the student driver will do something calamitous like turn down the wrong way directly into the path of an oncoming convoy tractor trailers or Mack trucks or activating the headlights when the windshield needs cleaning.
Self-driving cars must also be able to distinguish between a dangerous and harmless situation, making the appropriate call when needed. They must also be able to decide between the lesser of two evils in resolving moral dilemmas. Say, for instance, a personal injury lawyer darts out between two parked cars to the left and politician does the same to the right. Can the car figure out a way to take them both out?
Since the technology still has a long way to go to come to fruition, maybe we can slowly teach our current cars to become self-driving. I figure with all the time I spend texting, surfing the web and chatting on my smartphone, my car is semi-driverless now anyway.